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Posted on July 18th, 2003

Where am I going?
Where have I been?
Where am I?
I don’t know..
I don’t know..
I don’t know.

I feel hopelessly lost in this life; everything just comes and goes, fluttering about around me while I am in a stupor. I’m floating through life right now, as helpless as a leaf caught in the wind. What am I to do? My hopes and dreams are as fleeting as waves crashing on a far shore; they start high, but then I just hope that I can survive another day. I have lived enough of this life to appreciate all of the things I don’t have in it.

Why do I do this to myself? What do I indulge in all of the crap that happens? Because it’s so easy. It’s easy to feel miserable and to hate this or that. I tried to stay on the good side of things, but they almost always fall through. I’ve come to expect the worst more often than not. Sad, but true. Perhaps what is even sadder is that I’m often right.

So now what? Do I go on hating home and hating work and hating whatever else? Absolutely. Give me one good reason not to go on doing this… what is there to like about this? I work my ass off day in and day out and I don’t get anything out of it. I’m not appreciated anywhere. I’m very bitter.

I guess it doesn’t surprise me to have a garbage week. It reminds me of most other weeks this past summer. It seems like every day is the same for me: wake up, eat, get ready for work, board a crappy smelly disgusting bus, show up late because public tranportation sucks, slave away for hours on end, eat, endure all of the crap at work, board a crappy smelly disgusting bus, arrive home, feel miserable, and sleep. Quite the life, huh?

In summation, work really sucks. Hard. I can’t wait until I quit. That’s when I get my life back. I hope.

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