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Good Friday.. Good Grief

Posted on March 25th, 2005

The darkest day in the Christian calendar. Humanity fails God (again), and puts Jesus to death. In the course of less than a week, Jesus goes from receiving a triumphant entry into Jerusalem (I almost typed Jesusalem.. hrm) to receiving a spear in his side. And my friends wonder why I have so little faith in people.

Last night, it occurred to me that I should watch The Passion of the Christ today. I joked about it being the “good Catholic” thing for me to do, but my reasons were really more profound that that. At the Forums, we had a good discussion about death and I think that I needed to remind myself about how valuable life is. A large part of this value comes from what it cost Jesus in order for me to be where I am today. So I figured that watching the movie would give me a really vivid and powerful appreciation of his sacrifice. Furthermore, I’ve been seeking some means to release – to let go of myself – for about a week now. I thought immersing myself into The Passion of the Christ would do that for me, too.

When I woke up, I was about to head down for breakfast but I remembered that the cafeteria was only serving brunch and dinner. I then decided that it would be a good idea to fast, too. Ahh yes, another “good Catholic” thing for me to do. Not a bad idea considering that I had half a pizza last night. Considering the fact that I’ve done the 30-hour famine without a problem, this should be no sweat.

I wanted to get some work done before I went home (which is why I’m still in Waterloo in the first place), so I start plugging away at one of my group projects. Less than an hour later, Jasmine checks up on me while she’s taking a break (we had previously agreed to work diligently on our work for a while) and finds that I’m done. We talk for a bit, but then I realize that I had another assignment due on Monday. By that time, she regains motivation, and we’re off to work again.

Well, not really. I said that I wasn’t going to do anything until around 3:30 or so. The reason? It’s been a bit of a tradition for me to set aside time around 3pm on Good Friday to read the story of Jesus’ passion, then meditate and pray for a while. It was something that I started doing a number of years ago and, finding meaning in this, it was only natural to continue it this year. It never ceases to amaze me that, every time I think about it, I realize how truly lucky I am. Thank God.

I didn’t end up starting on the other assignment until much later and, by the time I finished it, I lost the motivation and drive to watch The Passion of the Christ. That movie still really affects me and it was really easy to chicken out. I’m such a wuss.

I think I’ll go have some more quiet time.

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