Good Friday.. Good Grief

The darkest day in the Christian calendar. Humanity fails God (again), and puts Jesus to death. In the course of less than a week, Jesus goes from receiving a triumphant entry into Jerusalem (I almost typed Jesusalem.. hrm) to receiving a spear in his side. And my friends wonder why I have so little faith in people.

Last night, it occurred to me that I should watch The Passion of the Christ today. I joked about it being the “good Catholic” thing for me to do, but my reasons were really more profound that that. At the Forums, we had a good discussion about death and I think that I needed to remind myself about how valuable life is. A large part of this value comes from what it cost Jesus in order for me to be where I am today. So I figured that watching the movie would give me a really vivid and powerful appreciation of his sacrifice. Furthermore, I’ve been seeking some means to release – to let go of myself – for about a week now. I thought immersing myself into The Passion of the Christ would do that for me, too.

When I woke up, I was about to head down for breakfast but I remembered that the cafeteria was only serving brunch and dinner. I then decided that it would be a good idea to fast, too. Ahh yes, another “good Catholic” thing for me to do. Not a bad idea considering that I had half a pizza last night. Considering the fact that I’ve done the 30-hour famine without a problem, this should be no sweat.

I wanted to get some work done before I went home (which is why I’m still in Waterloo in the first place), so I start plugging away at one of my group projects. Less than an hour later, Jasmine checks up on me while she’s taking a break (we had previously agreed to work diligently on our work for a while) and finds that I’m done. We talk for a bit, but then I realize that I had another assignment due on Monday. By that time, she regains motivation, and we’re off to work again.

Well, not really. I said that I wasn’t going to do anything until around 3:30 or so. The reason? It’s been a bit of a tradition for me to set aside time around 3pm on Good Friday to read the story of Jesus’ passion, then meditate and pray for a while. It was something that I started doing a number of years ago and, finding meaning in this, it was only natural to continue it this year. It never ceases to amaze me that, every time I think about it, I realize how truly lucky I am. Thank God.

I didn’t end up starting on the other assignment until much later and, by the time I finished it, I lost the motivation and drive to watch The Passion of the Christ. That movie still really affects me and it was really easy to chicken out. I’m such a wuss.

I think I’ll go have some more quiet time.

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