Change in Heart

I’m not going to Community Fellowship today. I sat upstairs for some 5 minutes, deliberating over this, before I came to this decision. The only reason why I’m compelled to go is to see Starfield, admittedly a band that I enjoy hearing. And if that’s it, I’m not going for the right reason to go at all.

Part of the issue is with Community Fellowship itself. I’m finding that I have a similar problem there as I do at Elevation; for one reason or another, the messages aren’t really connecting with me, and I tend to go so that I can hang out with people. Just for comparison, there have been several weeks where I really didn’t feel like going to Elevation, but went for the sake of the “discussion time” afterwards when I would spend 30 to 60 minutes chatting with people.

And don’t get me wrong, it certainly is worthwhile to do this. There are some people who may say that this is a sufficient reason to go to church. But I cannot say that I am in that camp; the primary reason to go to church is to glorify God. If I have lost sight of that, I feel that I shouldn’t be going.

Of course, one could argue that I should be able to go and make it about God. It’s all about the attitude, right? Maybe so. But I think that I could worship God right here in the apartment, too.

So, instead of going to a church today, I’m going to plop myself on the futon and read. It could be the latest book that I’m reading, The Imitation of Christ, or it could be the good ol’ Bible. And maybe I’ll even sing some songs. Who knows.

As for going to Community Fellowship in the future, who knows about that, too. I’m going to be moving quite far away from there this week, so we’ll have to see.

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