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Archive for April, 2007

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Softly Stolen Under Our Blanket Skies

Posted on Sunday, April 29th, 2007

Whenever I have said that I don’t understand Chinese, I have lied. The truth is that I do understand some (not a whole lot), and I am able to speak some, too (and by some, I include basic counting and asking for the washroom and ordering dim sum). But today, I wish that I did not understand a word of it.

Today, I asked to visit my grandma, who recently moved into an old age home (or long term care facility or whatever they want to call it to make it sound less horrible). I was told that there were a lot of good things about her being there and, for the most part, I believe that they are true. After all, she is getting fed a wide variety of food (and properly minced for her), has access to medical and support staff at all times, and is able to associate with a bunch of other people (which is something she hasn’t done in years and years). Plus, my dad is now able to get a good night’s sleep.

Today, I saw what it was like for her. People in wheelchairs were everywhere; some were able to wheel themselves around while many had to get the staff and volunteers to move them. Lots of them could not feed themselves. Most of them did not look very happy, nor were they talkative. Despite the neutral colours and cheery pictures, the place felt awfully glum. It hurt to know that my grandma was there and not at home.

Today, I heard her say some of the scariest things I have ever heard in my life. “Nobody wants grandma.” “I’m not going to live very long.” “I want to die.” My heart shattered. I fought back tears. And I hoped to God that all of that was her Alzheimer’s talking.

Shakedown

Posted on Sunday, April 22nd, 2007

Today was totally sweet. Other than the fact that I am not asleep (despite lying down in bed for a while), today was a red-letter day. One of the reasons is that the track listing for Zeitgeist came out:

01. Doomsday Clock
02. 7 Shades Of Black
03. Orchid
04. That’s The Way
05. Tarantula
06. Starz
07. United States
08. Never Lost
09. Bring The Light
10. Come On (Let’s Go)
11. For God And Country
12. Pomp And Circumstance

I am very excited about the new Pumpkins album (and, on a somewhat related note, another reason why today was awesome was because the music at the Guelph Grotto today involved a number of SP songs!) and I am very excited to see them live again!! While some of the song titles are not particularly engaging (“Starz” and “United States”, in particular), “Doomsday Clock” and “Pomp and Circumstance” have really intrigued me. I don’t know why… they just did.

It is somewhat hard to believe that I am still as interested and addicted to the Pumpkins as I am; after all, I have been listening to them for around fifteen years now and that’s plenty of time to get tired of something. Although, I do remember a period after ’98 when I was somewhat disillusioned by them; Adore was not initially received well and it was not until my university days that I have grown to absolutely love it.

Many fans dropped off after that album and, undoubtably, many will be disappointed by the new one. Some will question why Billy Corgan is doing this (Is it the money? Boredom? The sincere desire to write music for a new generation? Relive the glory days?), and some will dismiss it because the album won’t have the majority of the original members. For me, though, I have this blind optimism about the record. I will certainly buy it the day that it comes out and I will almost certainly love it. (There’s that blind optimism.) 7/7/07, baby.

And now that I mention it, I wish that I had more of the blind optimism for other things. Like school. Or faith. Or maybe that would be a bit too naïve for me…

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Posted on Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

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