I saw this on Kat’s journal and decided to steal it! So here goes…

// Series One – Yourself
— Name: Justin Chan
— Birthdate: ————————- –, 1983
— Birthplace: North York General
— Current Location: Waterloo
— Eye Color: Brown
— Hair Color: Black
— Righty or Lefty: Lefty
— Zodiac Sign: Libra
— Innie or Outtie: Huh?

// Series Two – Describe
— The shoes you wore today: Caterpillar oxfords
— Your hair: Short and spikey
— Your eyes: Present
— Your weakness: Extremely insecure
— Your fears: Disappointing people, hurting people, and being wrong
— Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni, bacon, sausage, double cheese, green peppers, mushrooms
— One thing you’d like to achieve: Complete satisfaction

// Series Three – What Is
— Your most overused phrase on AIM: lol
— Your thoughts first waking up: The time
— The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: The way that they dress
— Your best physical feature: Nice as… lol… eyes (Ha! I bet you thought it was something else!)
— Your bedtime: 2+ hours later than it should be
— Your greatest accomplishment: Turning my life around
— Your most missed memory: True happiness

// Series Four – You Prefer
— Pepsi or coke: Coke
— McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonald’s
— Single or group dates: Single
— Adidas or Nike: Nike
— Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
— Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino
— Bras or Panties: Boxers

// Series Five – Do You
— Smoke: No
— Cuss: Rarely
— Take a shower everyday: Yes
— Have a crush(es): Rarely
— Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
— Want to go to college: No
— Like high school: Yes
— Want to get married: Yes
— Believe in yourself: No
— Think you’re attractive: No
— Think you’re a health freak: No
— Get along with your parents: Sometimes
— Like thunderstorms: Yes

//Series Six – In The Past Month, Did/Have You
— Drank alcohol: No
— Smoke(d): No
— Done a drug: I’m high on JESUS!! (No)
— Have Sex: Abso..no
— Made Out: No
— Go on a date: No
— Go to the mall?: No
— Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No
— Been on stage: Yes
— Been dumped: No
— Made homemade cookies: No

// Series Seven – Have You Ever
— Played a game that required removal of clothing: No
— If so, was it mixed company: N/A
— Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No
— Been called a tease: No
— Gotten beaten up: No
— Shoplifted: Yes 🙁
— If so, did you get caught: No
— Changed who you were to fit in: Yes, when I was a wee little lad in elementary school

// Series Eight – The Future
— Age you hope to be married: 23
— Numbers and Names of Children: 2. Not sure about names…
— Descibe your Dream Wedding: OK this is getting out of hand…
— How do you want to die: Saving someone
— Where you want to go to college: Post-secondary education is useless.
— What do you want to be when you grow up: Smart
— What country would you most like to visit: Cayman Islands

// Series Nine – Opposite Sex
— Best eye color? No preference
— Best hair color? Blue? No, just kidding! No preference
— Short or long hair?: Long
— Best height: 13’3″
— Best articles of clothing: Conservative all around
— Best first date location: I don’t know… if I did, maybe things would be going better?
— Best first kiss location: Yeah.

// Series Ten – Number Of
— Number of boyfriends you’ve had: Zero
— Number of girlfriends: Two
— Number of people I could trust with my life: Thankfully, a good number
— Number of CDs that I own: Too many
— Number of piercings: Zero
— Number of tattoos: Zero
— Number of scars on my body: Two
— Number of things in my past that I regret: Tons

// Sereis Eleven – The Last…
— Movie you rented? I don’t rent movies
— Movie you bought? Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Special Edition)… soo good!
— Song you listened to: Something in “Monster’s, Inc.”
— Song that was stuck in your head? Pilate – Into Your Hideout
— Song you’ve downloaded? Beatles
— CD you bought? Radiohead, I think?
— CD you listened to? U2
— Books I have bought: Course notes
— Person you’ve called? Erica
— Person that’s called you? Phil
— TV show you’ve watched? Hockey Night in Canada
— Person you were thinking of? God

// Series Twelve – Misc.
— You have a b/f or g/f?: No
— You have a crush on someone? No
— You wish you could live somewhere else? Cayman Islands, Europe, Australia
— You think about suicide?: I have before
— You believe in online dating? No
— Others find you attractive? Who knows
— You want more piercings? No
— You want more tattoos? No
— You drink? Water, milk, OJ, and pop
— You do drugs? No
— You smoke? No
— You like cleaning? Freakishly
— You like roller coasters? Yes
— You write in cursive or print? Print, very small
— You carry a donor card? No

// Seriies Thirteen – For Or Against…
— Long distance relationships? Against
— Using someone: Against
— Suicide? Against
— Killing people? Against
— Teenage smoking? Against
— Doing drugs? Against
— Premarital sex? Against
— Driving drunk? Against
— Gay/lesbian relationships? What kind of questions are these?! Against

// Series Fourteen – Favorite…
— Soap operas? What’s a soap opera?
— Food? Steak
— Song? None; I like too many
— Thing to do? Too many to pick one
— Thing to talk about? Too many to pick one
— Sport? Hockey!!
— Drink? Milkshakes
— Clothes? Any one of my black pants
— Favorite shoes: My Cats
— Movie? American History X, JFK
— Band? The Smashing Pumpkins
— Holiday? Christmas
— Cars? BMW

// Series Fifteen – What Are You Right Now…
— Shampoo do you use? Herbal Essence
— Perfume do you use? Uh…
— Shoes do you wear? Cats, New Balance

// Series Sixteen – In The Past 24 Hours Have You
— had a serious talk? Yes
— hugged someone? No
— fought with a friend? No
— cried? No
— laughed? Yes
— made someone laugh? Yes
— bought something? Yes
— cut your hair? No
— felt stupid? Yes, at chapel
— talked to someone you love? Yes

Wow that was long. Bed time… gnite!

When you look at your life, are you happy?

If you had asked me that, say, five or six months ago, there would have been no time before I said “yes.” But now, I’m not so sure. Yeah there are a few staple things that remain good, but, more than anything, my attitude towards my life has really changed; I’ve become very critical of myself, and I often find that I have been disappointing myself in a lot of areas.

Something needs to be done. I don’t know what, nor do I know how. But I can’t go on like this.