But it’s so true! It’s a letter from Michael Moore to our favourite American monkey, Georgie:

Monday, March 17th, 2003

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call “the moment of truth,” the day that “France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table.” I’m glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I could take much more. So I’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day, ’cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON’T FIND THEM!
Why?
‘Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don’t want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans — the ones who never elected you — are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives — and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here’s what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon — the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won’t have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let’s see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What’s that you say? You don’t THINK so? Well, hey, guess what — we don’t think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn’t even have this country known as America if it weren’t for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do — tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can’t get out of.

Well, cheer up — there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you “win” the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner — and who doesn’t like to see a good ass-whoopin’ every now and then (especially when it ‘s some third world ass!). And just like with Afghanistan, we’ll forget about what happens to a country after we bomb it ’cause that is just too complex! So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year’s election. Of course, that’s still a long ways away, so we’ll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows — maybe you’ll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis — they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore

I LOVE IT!

For those who are well versed in English, you should have come across the notion of “pathetic fallacy.” For the others, I will attempt to explain. Pathetic fallacy is a literary device where the weather is indicative of the mood or plot of a work. It’s the attribution of human emotions or characteristics to inanimate objects or to nature. So, an author could use a storm to indicate disorder inside someone’s mind. A popular use of this is rain connecting with sadness. Anyhow, I was walking home from the Embassy this evening, and it occurred to me that the weather tonight could be related to the “plot”, so to speak, of my life.

Allow me to elaborate; this evening had a very clear sky, yet there was a thick, low-lying fog that greyed out everything. Now I couldn’t help but see some sort of connection to me: my life is obscured by temptation and sin so that I cannot see my goal, Heaven (conveniently, the stars) clearly. But with enough strain, and when looking in the right direction, I could see a very bright star. In fact, there were many stars that I could make out. This seems only fitting because the topic tonight included much talk about sin; sins of humanity, sins of Christianity, and sins of the individual.

Brandon, the pastor at Embassy, challenged us to admit as sinners and to stop our lives as sinners. I am not going to deny that I am a sinner; I have been for my entire life as I know it. I don’t like it, and I want to be free from it. Blaming it on human nature isn’t an excuse, though. Nor should I be looking for an excuse. There is no reason for me to point the finger at someone else; the whole concept of sin is that it is our own free choice to disobey God. And it was my choice, as sad as I am to say it. As St. Paul said in his letter to the Romans: “For even though the desire to do good is in me, I am not able to do it. I don’t do the good I want to do; instead, I do the evil that I do not want to do.” Romans 7.

But there is yet another choice: to choose between staying in this fog or to look up to Heaven. The whole purpose of Christianity, as Brandon said, is not about pointing fingers at each other, but pointing to God. I pray that I, and everyone else, keeps their heads high and orients their lives to Him. He knows what’s best. 🙂

Well it’s been a while since I’ve done anything for this; I guess it’s time to jot down some stuff for it..

I can’t say anything that interesting has happened over the past few days… other than a sick amount of homework assigned, life has been rather quiet around these parts. I suppose that I could say that I’ve become better friends with Kristin (my Don)… ever since she tried to dye my hair, we’ve been talking more and hanging out more. Haha!! We went to karaoke on Friday night at the Silver Spur, a bar-type dealie in Waterloo. But I would like to make it clear that I did not sing. Ever. Anyhow, we went for a few hours to laugh at drunk people singing off-key and slurring words and, for lack of a better word, sucking. A few from our group went up to sing.. those were especially funny. I must say, it really does pay to be sober; otherwise I wouldn’t have found things quite as funny.

Saturday… hmm… oh yeah. Aaron and I go out to St. Jacob’s Farmer’s Market to get a nice, big, giant steak. Mmmmmmmmm *drool* Mine weighed in at nearly a pound! The cook here offered to make it for us a while back, so we decided to take up his offer. It was SO worth it. While I waited for supper to arrive, I did some stupid bonus project.. that sucked the life outta me. Dinner was a much-needed break. It turned out the cook went all out — we got the steaks, a baked potato with sour cream and chives, fried mushrooms, and fried onions. Honestly, that was the best $5.60 meal I’ve ever had.

Staying up late is fun. I did it on Friday. I did it last night, and I’ll probably do it again tonight. Last night, it was Kristin, Phil, and I just talking about anything and everything. A bunch of people came and went, too. It kinda sucks that I talked so late that I woke up late for Church this morning! Bad Justin! But I managed to show up for the service about 10 mins late. Stupid me!

Sorry, Kat; no deep thoughts this time 🙂