Why I Am So Freaking Lucky

I promised that I would elaborate on that last post that I made, so here it is.

I suppose that this is a bit of an extension of previous posts that I have made (like this one). But I was feeling something a little different. Previously, I wrote about how fortunate I am to have this and that (and, by all means, I am still fortunate and grateful for those things).

A couple of nights ago, though, I think I was almost sad about what I have. I was reading The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg (thanks again, Rodney!) and, in it, there was a story about this old, bed-ridden, lonely, blind, deaf, disease-infested woman in a hospital. Despite her condition, though, she stayed there for some twenty five years and was seemingly content about it, too.

When asked what she does all day long, years on end, she replied, “I think about my Jesus.”

That took me. She had so little, and she had so very, very much. Compared to my life, it seems like she’s the exact opposite of me: I am the one with health and friends and all that, but I don’t have that simple love for Jesus. I am so freaking lucky to have all of these things and, despite having them, I’m so far behind.

I felt (and continue to feel) very guilty about all of it. With the resources that I have, I should be able to do so much more. Moreover, I should be doing so much more. It’s like I’m squandering my good fortune by not using it to do something meaningful.

My focus is off. I find it ironic that, just on Monday, Dom spoke about the love of money and how that makes it impossible to love Jesus. That argument, of course, could be easily extended to any other physical thing on earth. I don’t know what it is for me; it could be money (but I don’t think it is), gadgets, status… who knows.

Whatever it is, it needs to go. I need to refocus and to reorient myself. I need to believe that last sentence I wrote. I have to believe in it enough so that it’s more than just a few words on the Internet. My hope is that this book will shed some light on how I can make that happen.

Gosh, Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said that this wasn’t going to be easy…

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