… and I’ll wait for it to come.

Copeland – Coffee.

Tonight, Curtis, Craig, Laura, and I went to the Docks to see Copeland!! Craig and I got a ride to Toronto from Kat (thanks, KFro!!) early in the afternoon and spent the day watching the Canadian women’s hockey team handily beat Finland. We headed to our meeting place and were off to the Docks at around 6:15.

It’s the first time that I ever went to the Docks, and I must say that the venue is pretty sweet. The room is fairly small, and it has a cool feeling to it. (I’m super excited to go see Death Cab and Franz Ferdinand in April there!)

There were two bands that were on before Copeland… one had songs that all sounded the same, and a really stupid name: The Suicide Pact or something. The next band, Cartel, had a pretty good showing in the crowd, so that got people really excited. And aggressive. But, we managed to use all of the pushing and shoving to get to the second row!

I was in a bit of a peculiar position; behind me were Curtis and Laura, to my left was Craig, to my right was some random dude that didn’t seem to know any of the bands and just stood there motionlessly, and in front of me was some other random person against whose butt I was firmly pressed. Egad!

Copeland started off with “You Love to Sing”, followed by “Don’t Slow Down” and “Pin Your Wings.” I forget the order of the next few songs, but there was “When Paula Speaks”, “Coffee”, “Hold Nothing Back”, and “Sleep.” It was after “Coffee”, however, that one of the amps blew. They tried to fix it, but to no avail. So they did another song using the piano: “Brightest.” What a beautiful song!!! Unfortunately, it proved to be their last song as they couldn’t get a replacement amp to work and they left the crowd chanting “COPELAND!! COPELAND!!” high and dry.

So I must admit that I was feeling a bit disappointed.. the show was really amazing (especially since the crowd was so mellow), but I felt like we were robbed of a few more songs. One of the ones that I have been dying to hear live is “You Have My Attention”, and they didn’t play it 🙁 What was really cool, though, is that we ran into the drummer after their performance and talked to him for a bit. We got a picture with him, too! 😀 But he also said that “You Have My Attention” was on the setlist. Which killed me.

Oh well. Some things in life aren’t meant to work out. I’m glad that, for me, it was a concert instead of.. I dunno.. courses at school or something that could really affect me. But I suppose that there are plenty of other things that have not worked out for me: Software Engineering (but because I didn’t like it there, stuff with the ESA, relationships…

But one thing that I’m learning to do is accepting what I have. I’ll take what I can get and I should be so thankful that I have that much. I’ve gone on and on about all of the things that I have (and often don’t appreciate), and I won’t repeat them. God has been so good to me and, truly, His love trancends all that I know of myself.

And with Valentine’s Day in recent memory, I have to admit that I’m eager to live the day where I find my own love that transcends all that I know. But I’ll wait patiently for it to come.

I love Copeland.

I really should be sleeping right now but, for some reason, I’m pretty wired. This is a bit surprising since I did have a pretty long day, so I should be really beat… oh well.

Something that came up at Forums this week was how Christ died for us while we were sinners and how that made us feel. There were the fairly obvious answers of “happy” and “humble”, but the only word that was going through my mind was pathetic.

I felt totally unworthy and ungrateful and it’s just terrible. The singlemost important event in human history (other than our creation, perhaps) affected me and redeemed me and, yet, I don’t live as if I am really thankful for it. Day after day, my priorities and thoughts are not on what Jesus did for me but on what I can do for myself to make life better.

If I want to change (and I think I do), where am I to start? How can I show that I really appreciate everything that God has done for me? Sure, one can suggest that I can love others but I’d be chasing a phantom; being able to truly love all others is unfathomable to me.

The thing is, I know that God is good. He’s freaking amazing to me. He gives me life, great family and friends, amazing days like today, talents… everything, really. I know that it’s all Him. I just wish that I knew how to express all of this in a way that convinces me that I’m really glorifying God through it.

One thing I know for certain: my personality needs to change. My outward appearance has matured (with my style of dress and hair and whatnot), and it’s about time that my inward being changed too. First on the pecking order is how I treat other people.. I know that I am far too sarcastic and cynical for my own good. I know that I can be a nuisance. But all of this has to stop somehow.

So, my goal is to be more agreeable with people. There’s not much of a way to measure the success of this endeavour, so I’ll just have to be very conscious of it at all times. Together with the weekly fast, I really hope that I can bring about a substantial shift in the way that I live. As an often oversung song goes: “I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it, ’cause it’s all about you, it’s all about you, Jesus.”

Why is the University closed today? We’ve certainly experienced much crappier weather than this. I mean, it’s just some snow and rain.. sure it was a little slick this morning, but the roads were pretty clear.

In protest of the school closing, I went to school today. I knew that I would not get a whole lot of work done if I were to stay at home, and I needed to come to campus for Forums anyway.

Today has been quite a productive day already: I went through buckets of code and verified that all of the models that I implemented generated the right results; I learned a great deal about theming in ASP.NET 2.0, which will become useful in one of my future websites; and I scored a free lunch! (I don’t know how that last one was productive, but… oh well.)

Anyhow, I shall resume being a good employee and get back to work 😉