Bible readings and more

So last night, I finished the majority of Hebrews. Two little snippets were very meaningful to me. The first of these is Jesus’ words to God: “Here I am, O God, to do your will.” I repeated that out loud several times, really wondering if I meant what I was saying. I really wish that I did, but I don’t think that I did… my faith isn’t quite strong enough. In time, perhaps. The second one is this: “For God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.'” Once I read this, I put the book down for a few minutes and contemplated. Have I been abandoned? Am I alone? Sometimes, I feel that way, but sometimes His presence is so overwhelming. I couldn’t help but question Him about whether or not I have been forsaken…

Sadly, this was the first book that I’ve finished in a long time… months, maybe. I really don’t have excuses; instead, I only have myself to blame. I haven’t been making time or room for God in my life; I’ve been caught up with worldly issues and I sorta pushed God off to the side. But it’s so hard not to do this, especially when those worldly issues are really pressing. My eyes, however, have been opened, and I’m starting to get on top of everything again. I’m rather shamed, though, that God did take a back seat. Kat always stresses how important it is for Him to be first, and, lately, I’ve had difficulty agreeing. While I know that she’s right, it’s hard to commit to something like that. As the old adage goes, the mind is willing, but the body is weak.

It’s really surprising how universal that adage is. How often do we find ourselves eager to do something, but, when push comes to shove, we don’t? Or how often do we say that we’ll do something and never do it? Does “I’ll try harder at school” ring a bell? It sure does for me. Do I ever try harder? Heck no! I always let myself get distracted away from schoolwork. But I really should try to render this saying obsolete for me… my mind should be willing, and so, too, should my body.

Another interesting proverb goes like this: the more your suffer the more your care. I like that one, too. There’s certainly a level of truth in it, too. It made me think of the ways I suffer and why I do it. There’s also why I let myself suffer, too. Then, there’s Jesus, who cared so much for us that He gave up His life. That’s the ultimate sacrifice, and I wonder who or what would move me enough to do something like that. I know a few people right off the bat, but I wonder how selfless I am. *ponders*

Anyhow, I’m off to read more. I’ve considered getting a devotional to read, too. A good fiction book would be great, too (hint hint, Kristin ;p). Good night and God bless.

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