I didn’t want to lump this with the other entry, as it doesn’t deal with my readings…

Tonight was the first night with the Communications team… to be honest, it was a little weird. Although I am very used to having a leadership role and delegating work, it wasn’t quite the same with Comms. Maybe the fact that I will one day hand it back to Laura and Katie makes things a little different. Maybe the people with whom I work make it a little different.

But I can’t let it get to me… I need to make sure that, as a co-leader, I don’t lose sight of what we want the Comms team to be. There’s a lot of room for growth and development, and I’d like to have a hand in getting that started. I’ve been told by a number of people that we’ve made a lot of progress since our inception in the fall. I would like to see that momentum keep going.

I also had a unique opportunity to take part in the drama skit today.. it was a very small role, being a one-liner, but it was fun. I’m not sure why they picked me, but ah well. Good times!

This entire chapter sounded like something I would have read in A New Kind of Christian. In fact, I think it might have been quoted there.. if I had my book, I’d check, but I’ll have to remember to do that when I get back to residence.

Anyhow, this chapter focused entirely on the fact that there is much more to life than it appears; we have an eternal destination, and where we spend it depends on what we do here, and now. It’s like saying that, in a cross country race, which can be some ten-plus kilometers, the first nanometer determines if you’re going to win. Pretty weird, huh? Wouldn’t we focus on getting the best nanometer we’ve ever had? That’s certainly the most logical solution, but I, nor many others, live like that.

For some time now, I’ve been trying to grasp the concept of living on in eternity. It’s just so strange and foreign to me, so I really can’t understand it like math or science. It’s so abstract. But, in the end, it’s critical that I find a way to internalize and embrace it. Otherwise, I could go on living a hedonistic, self-centered life and not worry about anything. I need to remember, always, that my life here has infinite repercussions for me. As our good buddy Maximus says in Gladiator, “What we do in life echoes an eternity.” God, I beg you to help me remember this, so that I will fix my eyes on spending life with you, and not on the distractions around me.

It’s somewhat ironic how I read this chapter as Brandon spoke about focus at the Embassy tonight. In fact, he used pretty much the same message as yesterday, but it’s still just as relevant. The winds of change are blowing, but I need to remain constant in my commitment to God. I need to trust in Him and rely on Him to guide me through this life so that I can find a way to be with Him in Heaven. I know that I don’t have the strength to do it alone. I need His help and grace.

Question to Consider: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?

If only there was only one thing!!!! There are so many things that I would like to stop, and so many others that I wish I could do. I think that the answer for both of them is the same: stop wishing. Stop hoping that, one day, I’ll stop sinning; instead, work to live a thoroughly good life. And stop wishing that I willl do some tremendous good some day in the future, and start doing that good now. It’s not going to be easy to do.. not by any means… but I need a start.. a spark to ignite the fire.

I pray that all of you, my dear friends, will find a way to turn away from the evils that plague this world. I ask God to guide each of you, and me, to a live that will lead us to Him. It’s said in the Bible that, “Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you.”
God, help us find a way to take those steps, so that we can really feel Your presence and be drawn in by Your love for us.

Just as I was praying tonight… another thought dawned on me, and I’d just like to write it down before I go back to bed.

I find it so ironic that I don’t know my purpose in life. Even though I am reading a book about it, I’m so lost and without direction. True, I’m only done three days of reading, and I know what my ultimate purpose is (to get into Heaven, of course), I don’t have any clude about what my purpose here on Earth is.

I was talking with Sarah, who organizes the New Kind of Christian group and the Embassy/Elevation band, and I was telling her that I am convinced that I am not in the right program. What’s worse is that I don’t know where I’d rather be. Nor do I have an idea about a career. The best that I could manage when talking with her is “something humanitarian.”

So basically, I’m just floating along in life, waiting for something to inject some sort of purpose in my life.. something to orient me and give me a direction. I know where I want to go, but of the many routes that can take me there, I don’t know where one is right for me. I really hope that God can give me a hand with this one…