“I Don’t Know”

Ask anyone. It’s probably the phrase that I say the most. And I’m probably one of the most indecisive people that they know.

But it goes so much further than indecision. It’s a general uncertainty about almost everything. I don’t like making promises. I don’t like setting deadlines. I don’t like new situations.

All three, however, have been taking over my life lately. I’ve made many promises to friends, associates, and myself. I’ve set deadlines for my work with the Embassy, my school stuff, and my day-to-day things. I’ve been exposed to new situations at the Embassy, in friendships, and my residence.

The future is very foggy; I don’t know if I can keep my promises (although I will certainly try), I don’t know if I will meet the deadlines, and I don’t know if I will like my situations.

One of my primary concerns (and there are many) is the shift from St. Paul’s to my own place. I wrote about it in an earlier entry, but it hasn’t really sunk in until now. With a new school term on the horizon, I’m noticing so many things that are different. I don’t know if I can get used to it. Frig frig frig.

I’m actually a little scared. God, please take my hand and guide me through this term… I certainly can’t do it on my own.

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