I just saw my dad mouth-feeding my grandma. It was heart-warming and heart-breaking at the same time.

A few nights ago, I was thinking about what I could do to help him. I visit from time to time, but it doesn’t feel like enough. It then occurred to me that I could take a co-op term off so that I could stay at home to look after my grandma. I’d be able to provide the kind of 24-hour support that she needs, too.

I feel as though I owe it to her. After all, she was the one that looked after me when I was really little. Despite a language barrier that has existed for the better part of 20 years, she has shown me so much love and support.

I predict, however, that my dad would have nothing of the idea. I fully expect him to say that I should focus on school and work. And I can’t really blame him, either; I am close to finishing and it seems like the near future is brimming with opportunities.

That said, I can’t help but consider my priorities. My real priorities. Yes, I could take advantage of the opportunities that lie just ahead of me and make it big in the world. In doing so, though, I can’t help but feel that I would have sacrificed an opportunity to show real love. And courage. And patience.

Would I feel good about myself if I were materially wealthy while my grandma got put into a nursing home, away from the family with whom she has lived for nearly 30 years?

This question burns inside of me.

I can see how a nursing home could do her a lot of good; she’d have people with whom to talk, qualified personnel to take care of her, and well-organized days with her specific needs in mind. But I can see how it can be a huge mistake, too. She may feel abandoned by her family, she could feel scared of new surroundings, and she could just not have a good time there.

I feel that this is a chance to do something remarkable with (some of) my life. But I don’t know what to do or say about it. Should I love my grandma and sacrifice part of my life for her? Should I love my dad and do what he wants me to do?

I’m not pleased right now. This morning, I biked to school so that I could buy my ticket to Toronto and catch the bus. On the way, I had a bit of an accident: I hit a striped insect head-on. I don’t know if it was a bee or a wasp or a hornet or whatever, but the bugger somehow managed to get into my shirt. I must have given the sucker a bit of a concussion, but I didn’t make it scotch-free: the little turd stung me!

I think that this is the first time that I have ever been stung, and it was right in the middle of my chest. So I felt it every time I breathed. Fortunately, my superhuman immune system dealt with the sting within an hour or so, but still. I don’t know what ever happened to the assaulter, but anywhere except where I am is good enough for me.

And let me tell you about flies. It’s funny that Breanna just made a post about flies on her blog, too, but it seems that her bad luck seems to have transferred to me. I have at least three flies in my room, all buzzing around when I try to sleep. What’s worse is that they tend to do it over my head, since that’s where the largest window in the room is.

It seems that these guys like 24, too; when I watch at night, they tend to land on my screen. Repeatedly. Yeah, that’s just a tiny bit very annoying. I wish that I could unleash an army of spiders to take care of these dumb flies. But then I’d have cobwebs and an army of spiders in my room.

I see no good coming out of this situation.

Things to do:

• Get bus ticket home 😐
• Borrow money 🙁
• Cook king crab legs and salmon 🙂
• Homework 🙁
• Get passport 🙂
• Clean up 🙁
• Watch Jack Sparrow kick ass! 🙂
• Finish the last episode of 24 that I have 🙁
• Finish the last episode of 24 that I have 🙂

Overall: 😐